There was no need to travel back in time to meet my past lives. They came to me. Unexpectedly. Or, more precisely, they were always here and now, waiting for me to become aware of them and accept them.
I have never been bothered too much about who I was in my past lifetimes. I knew that I was a woman and a man, poor and rich, saint and the greatest sinner, etc. Depending on the experiences I wanted to have. By doing so, I could know Myself more and in a more profound way.
I already had quite a few encounters with some of my past lives when I was engaged in various New Age therapies, regressions, and other methods during my period of awakening.
Gradually and individually, those of my past lives that were somehow important for my path came to me. So that I could become aware and let go of limitations, beliefs, patterns, oaths, vows, suffering, fear, drama, the role of victim, and a powerful karmic bond with a man I was in love with again this lifetime.
By doing that, I could finally stop carrying their baggage on the back of this life.
And above all, to remember why I am here in my the most significant last lifetime ever.
Apparently, I have decided to have a slightly different encounter with my past lives this time. I was not in any meditative state. I was fully awake, present, with my eyes open, in the sun with a hat on my head and a jacket buttoned up to my neck.
It was a cold December day when I went for a short walk downtown. I had nothing special planned, well, at least not Tamara, my beloved human Self.
I switched on my intuitive navigation system and followed my nose. It led me through Ljubljana’s streets, by the park, and straight to the main center, where my feet suddenly wanted to dance. Something was happening on the other bank of the Ljubljanica river.
There were stalls, people, and live music.
Despite my everlasting love for music, I wasn’t too keen on the enormous human anthills, and I was about to turn right past the action when something happened.
To my knowing, an intense, flashing red light above a giant STOP sign came on.
“Oh hell, seriously?” And since I almost always follow my intuition, I decided to go and see what was going on. Deep within me, I knew that there was something here for me, even though at that moment, again, Tamara, my beloved human Self, had no idea what it was all about.
Before I made my way toward the crowd of people, I stopped and took a couple of deep breaths.
The closer I got to the event, the denser and heavier the energy of those gathered began to tighten my body. I remembered the words of dear Adamus. I took another deep breath and relaxed into the here and now. Being fully present in time and timelessness simultaneously and just allowed.
I reached the first stalls and immediately realized why the crowds had gathered in a heap. There was an International Marketplace from all over the world. People from different countries set up their stalls, presenting and selling their products and food.
I was walking down the middle, so there were stalls on my left and right. I looked at the offerings, and the vendors dressed in their traditional clothes and read the signs on the boards to see which country they were representing.
Suddenly, a man appeared in front of me. I tried to avoid bumping into him and stumped as I am; I tripped and fell forward as long and wide as possible. It was good to wear gloves and other winter clothes, so I didn’t get bruised.
I slowly picked myself up, and when I was about to continue my tour, I noticed that there were not many people anymore. At all.
There was immediate relief. I felt like a queen. There is no one in front of me, a free and expansive view of the stalls, just a curious person here and there.
Along with the relief, I had a thousand and one sensations. Time has withdrawn. Something was happening. Yes, something was happening inside me: an immense joy, hope, and expectation.
As I continued to walk and observe the stalls on either side of me, I noticed that literally, every seller looked at me and smiled – even those with people.
Something was squeezing my heart. I was blown away by the sensual, worm, somehow familiar looks and smiles I received from them.
I became deeply moved, and tears ran down my cheeks.
– Argentina, France, Chile, USA, Thailand, Germany, China, Russia, Peru, Romania, Philippines…
All these countries! It hit me like a bolt from the blue.
My past lives!!!
I stopped; I could not even take a step further when the singer started singing a well-known song: Country roads by John Denver.
Only a part of the chorus echoed in my ears, and I couldn’t hear the rest of the lyrics.
…” take me home, to the place I belong… take me home….”
Everything that I was experiencing and was going on touched me so much that I can’t remember the last time I cried like that. I was shaking all over my body. My heart chakra was pounding like never before.
It was time. All my past lives came to me unexpectedly, in the most beautiful way possible. They wanted to go home. Again after a very long time. Home.
Time to become aware of them, accept and welcome them to Myself in My – Our House.
I sat down on the nearest bench, wiped my tears, and took a deep breath to integrate them. The joy, the love, the beauty, the compassion, and the gratitude embraced my whole being.
I do not remember how long I sat on that bench, deep in the ongoing experience. I do not even remember how I got home. I only know that I was so tired that I went straight to bed and slept six hours away.
For me, a wonderful, moving, priceless, profound experience, perfectly staged and performed to perfection. Just like all the others, of course.
But was it really the final integration of all my past lives?
At least that’s what my beloved Tamara thought.
PAST LIVES – workshop with Tamara, Ljubljana – Slovenia
